What meant the world to me, you excused as a mistake, our love. It hurt when you told me this, but still I refused to listen. You told me that love was so much more complicated than what people made it out to be. You said love was like "The sun peaking through on a cloudy day". It reminded me of a beautiful poem out of a fairytale.
You were my fairytale.
You believed in chivalry, which melted me heart, but you changed. Since you left me, your knightly ways have died. You told me that life hardened you; that there were kinks in your armor and your horse was lame. But none of this mattered me to. What mattered was that you came back into my life after almost a year and that my feelings for you blossom in my heart. I knew you had some issues to work out, but I was okay with that; I knew that with time, patience, and love, that you would realize I was your princess again.
I knew that you would hurt me, you even said so yourself, but I always had hope. I didn't think much about being hurt, I only knew it would hurt if you left me.
Which you did, in a sense. I knew I was not the only woman on your mind. I was willing to fight for you, because I swore that you were worth it. I would have done anything for you, out of love. We almost shared a beautiful time together, willing to give ourselves to each other all for the sake of love, but that was a long time ago. This is now and now I see that I am your play toy. You brush me off and want me on your time. You never knew how deeply I felt for you, I don't think you ever will.
You are reluctant to love. I could have given you that love, had you just asked for it. But you tell me you want to have fun and you cant love anyone right now. I cant force your love, I will not force your love. Seeing you today, as always, I begged for you attention. And as always, you're mind was elsewhere. I had to leave today and I begged you to come say goodbye to me. You just walked by, and the realization that the symbolism was that you were leaving my life, nearly had me doubled over. I felt my heart lurch and drop. I just watched and the last thing I saw was a smile from you. That smile was beautiful and it also broke my heart.
Love is letting go of the people you love, in hopes that they will come back to you. If, and when they do, they are worth keeping. So I am letting you go. I am going to stop chasing you. I am tired of being hurt and holding on to a fairytale that will never end in a "happily ever after". You're the wounded knight who makes love seem impossible and I'm the princess who just wants to be loved by an honorable man.
You taught me how to move on from pain that a heartbreak can leave behind. I feel no animosity towards you. My world doesn't evolve around you and so I am only concerned for me and my well being. What we had was beautiful, while it lasted, but I'm not going to hang on to someone who's pulling away. I'm letting you go, because I love you. I understand that you need to grow, as do I. So as you seemed to say goodbye with your eyes, I said goodbye with my heart.
I'm not worried about risking a chance at love. Love is all around me, I just need to stop chasing it and let it come to me. So, this is what I'm doing, letting love come to me with an open heart. I just hope that, in time, you will do the same. In doing that we can both live out our fairytales, regardless of if they evolve each other.
- Silver
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